this is not how I want to live
I’m tired of kissing razorblades goodnight
and bottles of ***** good morning

I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror most days
I am not the person I wanted to be

this is not how I want to live
I don’t know if I want to live at all

I’m sick of breaking myself down to try and build others up
my arms are tired and my knuckles bruised
and I don’t want to fight anymore

I’ve been looking for a way out so long that
I don’t even recognize it as a danger
looking down the barrel of a gun

not until I hear it go off