you deserve someone who kisses you like they want to fall in love
not like they just want to ****

that’s my problem
I always wanted to fall in love
it looked so beautiful
the way the other poets wrote it
and just thinking of what you tasted like ..sober
but I’ve tasted you with shots of brandy
you do not taste as sweet as your promises
****
the brandy burned sweeter than you
I wanted to feel you on me
hear “I love your lips on my hips
the way your fingertips knew exactly where to go
like following the edges of a map”
but not “I love you”
the thing I so often heard
and heard myself say

you are more toxic
than the drinks I use to
chase you down

I just want to ****
I just want to ****
I just want to-
******* look so beautiful tonight
not nearly as poisonous
and even your “**** me” didn’t taste as bitter

when you left
I took it with shots of brandy
it didn’t sting like your hand against my cheek
and it felt warmer than you ever did
emptied the bottle into tall glasses
tall like you
I always wondered what you tasted like
sober
maybe like you wanted to fall in love
but your brandy lips sounded like you just wanted to ****