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Sep 2018
i don't why some English people have
this... "nuanced" practice -
of printing out a mini-statement from
their bank account,
   look at it, and then drop it on
the floor beside the bank withdraw point...
just lying about,
   like some tabloid newspaper:
i mean - anyone could pick it up and lure
himself into financial voyeurism...
as i do... and did...
            my god! and i thought i was bad
with money -
   how i managed to get out of
    -2000 sterling at one point -
i will never know -
       sober October? November?
and December or something akin?
     with my income i'm surprised that
i managed to charm the phone center
operative (a woman):
  to gradually decrease my overdraft
limit...
   student overdraft limit...
   which i had for to long to begin with...
once i walked into the bank,
asked to speak to the manager,
asked him to increase my then,
overdraft limit of -£1500 (no interest,
mind you) - giving the excuse of
some aunt that didn't exist funeral...
took out around £300 quid...
   if not more...
   and pretended to be ready to commit
suicide...
  by ******* for 3 hours with three
different prostitutes in a brothel...
       fun night...
               like that night i was so depressed
over a tube announcement that
i "somehow" missed Handel's Messiah opera
at the Royal Albert Hall...
so? i guess sometimes *******
imaging the said music in the back of
my mind saves a man from going completely
sulk poker...
       but i managed to pay it off...
and now, reigning above 700 quid:
i checked...
         seems i'm that i'm, actually not that bad
with money...
            but with that call center flirting,
it wasn't exactly flirting...
   more like:
do you own a mobile phone? no.
do you own a car? no.
   etc. etc.,
      all true...
             as they say:
  all it takes is 30 minutes of brisk walking
for the ol' ticker...
  and i can do roughly a mile and back
in half an hour...
   plus the night air is always refreshing:
esp. in September, in England...
                but what i picked up today?
poor soul...
it really reads like the saddest poem about
love lost or not experienced:

24 Sep      ATM                  £40.00-
25 Sep      BAC                   £20.00+
25 Sep      POS                   £2.83-
25 Sep      POS                   £9.05-
25 Sep      D/D                   £12.49-
26 Sep      BAC                   £40.00+

Account         Balance       You Can Withdraw
8XX8              £58.13           £10

26/09/2018         19:13:35

that's a sad poem...
     and that's not the first or the last
i've come across,
most people in England do this,
order a mini-statement
and then drop it at the ATM -
it's as if, they can't believe their eyes
with what's shown on the ATM screen...

sure, perhaps they have, yeah "have"
a savings account,
  but a current account,
that only has, just over £50?
   that's a really depressing sight to behold...

and to be honest:
among the majority of English people...
that's the norm...
    if you're looking at someone with
over 500 quid in their current account?
  wow...
   i mean: that's like watching
a falling star or something equivalent...

the ******* the phone?
the one who i asked to decrease my overdraft
limit slowly, by £250 a month or
whatever the hell it was,
so i could get out of a -2000 quid
temporary debt of an overdraft?
**** me... she actually complimented
me on my money savvy-
  (can't spell the adjective) -
            which was a surprise of sorts,
like finding licorice hidden in
a desert...

             but this poor soul...
   what can you do:
   if you think you can spend more than
what you receive -
and never, for once:
  hold back, suffer,
      have one of those cold turkey
nights, riddled in bed, insomniac,
riddled by hot and cold sweats -
because Jackie Boy wasn't down the throat
of one his no. 1 fans...
  
or you go cold turkey for a week
without smoking...
trying to think of nothing but carrots,
or occupying yourself by eating
nuts...

   happens...
    **** me... 56 quid as a bank account
balance...
                guess no one is saving for
anything these days...
    why save... when you can fall into
debt, and be assured the security of debt
with the minimal, incremental
security repayment of the debt -
   no lending agency will bother you:
if you pay a regular minimum back;

an idea of sorts.
Mateuš Conrad
Written by
Mateuš Conrad  36/M/Essex (England)
(36/M/Essex (England))   
99
 
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