i cant focus my energy
these words dont seem to write
all i can say is that shouldn't have been the night

**** is a word i dont want to use
coerced and confused
i gave everything away to you.

**** is a word to powerful
it leaves women black and blue
still, i didn't want that to happen, especially not with you

i had a bad feeling right from the start
your eyes where cold
voice insincere

still i though i was with friends
so i drank that cup straight till the end

the only real part of the women i am was left on the bathroom floor
with parts of my guts in the toilet bowl

just helping me to bed
to you this meant helping yourself into my pants

yes i am guilty, i let it go far
whatever, does not count as consent

while violence may not have been a part of this attack
my mind is not the same
i need medication just to feel okay

just because you wanted to get off
anxiety now follows me like the plague
the terrors that awake me every night

that punch in the face doesn't seem like enough
who am i to make you pay?
i'm just some stupid ****

i still feel that disgust
its my fault, i drank to much