'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

Til the window flew open, the thief did commence

He stole the boy's Xbox, and the girl's innocence

He crumbled the cookies, knocked over a glass

The father came out; shot him in the ***

The mother was screaming, in horror and fear

She didn't notice her son, he opened a beer

The cat ripped the stockings, the dog ate the goods

While all hell broke loose, the thief ran, to the woods

The girl found the phone, she held it so fond

She dialed 991, the girl was a blonde

She then started crying, the boy stomped around

Until he passed out, and fell to the ground

The clock chimed twelve times, the conscious met fright

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.