I shut the door behind me
And take a gulp of air
Hoping maybe this once
That it's all gone.
I tire of being alone
In this life
I've only recently obtained.
But I'm not alone,
You see.
I open my eyes
Slowly looking down
At the floor.
Dreading that sight
Of my dark companion.
I lose all control
Of my breathing.
Because what I see is
The empty sight
Of my companion, my shadow.
It's still there,
Though I tried
So hard this time
To get away.
Because it isn't
Just a shadow.
It is me,  my worst enemy,
My sadness.
Why was I so naive?
I ran from something
I simply can't escape!
I am forever here
To torment myself
In the middle of the night
When I am most vulnerable.
When I'm alone and without help.

You're sadistic, twisted.
I hate you, leave me be.
You're weak, unprotected.
I'm not going anywhere.
I don't want to think about it,
My future, my memories, my troubles.
Tsk tsk tsk. It's not up to you.
I am in full control.

A funeral is always a saddening thing,
For everybody is somebody to someone.
But some funeral scenes chill you to the bone
And one day in our town we had one.

A very young mother had died;
Something that you just don't expect.
And the shops and stores had all closed their doors;
They did it out of love and respect.

And in the crowded funeral home that day,
With everyone present weeping,
The sound of a little girl's voice was heard.
She said, "That's my mommie, she's sleeping."

Then I heard the sound of her little feet, "tap, tap, tap,"
As she made her way down the aisle.
Her little purse dangled from her tiny wrist
and it brushed her best Sunday dress,
And she boldly asserted the confidence
That little folks like her possess.

To the life that has no final chapter
There's no ending and no last mile.
The preacher and the rest were petrified,
But on the little girl's face was a smile.

She said, "Wake up, Mommie, wake up."
And still not satisfied she reached out with her little hand
And touched her face and cried.
Then the broken hearted daddy spoke
With a gentleness and with power,
And the words that issued from his lips
Was the sermon for the hour.

In a child like faith he told her
That the dead in Christ will rise
"God gave us his word," he said,
"And we know he never lies.

We can't wake up our sleeping Mommie,
But we know someone who can.
Baby, only God can wake up Mommie.
Let's go home and leave her in his hands."

It's the Spring of '53
A Man and a Woman
Fall in love.
They marry in a church
By a garden of sunflowers
On the river.
They make love soon after
For the first time.

It's the Summer of '63
Bells chime as They lie in the grass
Under an oak tree.
His rough and Her soft hands
Are grasping one another
As They talk of memories.
They laugh and kiss in deep love
As though They only just met.

It's Autumn of '73.
She's home alone thinking of Him.
Of the joy She's had
Since that Spring long ago.
On His way home from work
He drives to the church
By a garden of sunflowers
On the river;
To gather sunflowers for Her.

It's Winter of '73
She sits in their bedroom
Staring blankly at a paper,
"Murdered outside an old church."
She looks at Their wedding photo.
Her hand is steady
As She feels the cold steel
Kiss Her temple.

He's looking down on Her begging,
"Don't do it, please, God, don't do it."
She hears nothing more
Than the lonely roar
Of Her tears splashing
On Their wooden floor.
She smiles, and pulls the trigger.

Ye who rigid up your brow
The time hath come
The time is now.
Sailing head into the fire
Ye think your strong?
You're up for hire.

First
Hurrah! We sail!
Across the sea,
Our faces pale
And drinking mead.
Us crew prepare
For what's to be;
Her vicious trials
She throws to thee.
The winds are strong,
Our journey long.
We ready up
For stars to lead.

Second
Hurrah! We sail!
Our will is strong
We'll never fail!
We chant our song:
For ye who wish
For dreams
Come true:
Ye must fight for,
Through and through.
The think'n thin,
Ye down your gin
For fight is all to do.

Third
Hurrah! We sail!
We feast tonight
With bread and mead,
We celebrate.  
Our time of need
For land for *****
Hath soon to be.
That blessid lady,
Blessid be,
Her briefs so tight
Oh, blessid me!
She waits ashore
Across this sea.
She wants some more
Ye brethren and me!

Fourth
Hurrah! We sail!
The shore awaits!
To send ye mail,
To tell thy fate
Morale was high
Our time was nigh!
We fought for life
And none hath died!
So riddle this ye swabbie;
To be a man my friend,
For home we sail at dawn,
Hurrah! We sail again!

Some people cry
Before they die.
I ask, "why?,
All those lies?"
They look at the sky
Way up high.

In my darkest hour.

He's less than a guy;
You can't deny
So ***** your sigh.
You can't even rely
On keeping the tie
Between you and I.

You're right. Time to fly.

There is something foreign; a bright smile from one ear to the other: happiness. I am at peace. Life is good.
A walk in the park is where I meet you, the most beautiful woman in the world. That lucky great white.
We begin to talk, and we flirt, and then we set up a date. Dinner and a movie. We do that very often.
Months later we decide  it's time to move in together; buy a small house in a great neighborhood.
Not  long after that is when we marry and happily leave for our honeymoon in Paris, France.
We  decide  to have a beautiful child; a  beautiful  brown haired baby boy, now our family.
At our  peak  we discover a tragic flaw in his  health, an increasingly  growing disease.
I  turn for guidance, for relief, from a 10 year old bottle  of the bar's finest  whiskey.
My anger takes over as I start to yell  at  her, for dropping a small  glass of juice.
The door slams  on  my way out into  the  cold night.  My destination a blur.
You're home with the baby, both crying in its confusion and your regret.
I drive to the coast. A blindness of sorrow overcoming twinkling eyes.
You grab for the phone and call  for  me; your hour of helplessness.
I don't answer, my phone flies out  my  window as I drive faster.
You try to calm our baby boy, knowing his imminent tragedy.
I  stop the car. And  I  get  out , slowly  walking  to  the cliff.
You  tell  the  boy  everything  is  ok as you  start  to smile.
I open  my  wallet  and  pull  out a  picture  of  you  two.
You hold  him  and  nurture  him  as  if  you're  right.
I  stare  bl­ankly at  the  photo,  my  wife  and  boy.
You  begin  to sing to him; a nice, sweet lullaby.
I drop the  photo; and watch  the  wind take it.
"Oh, Hush,  little  baby, don't  you cry."
I  begin to fight a flow of bad emotions.
You  start  walking  him to his cradle.
I  step  up  to the welcoming  ledge.
You  remind our baby boy it's ok.
As  I  slowly  become  at  peace.
Our boy drifts off into a sleep.
I  step  forward  and  I  leap.
You quietly cry beside him.
As  I  fall  I quietly speak;
Four  soft,  last  words:
"I  love  you, Both."
Love can bring
The strongest
Down.

It's your fault, it's her fault, it's they're fault.

You introduced me to her,
Supported our chemistry
The whole way through.
She broke me in two,
And what else would you do
But keep quiet?
It's your fault.

He treated her as an object,
Like she was dirt.
She once opened her eyes to see,
And started to flirt.
He began threatening
She then wanted nothing from me.
It's her fault.

I thought it wouldn't be so bad;
The lies, the medicine, the mad.
They dragged me down that hole;
The hounds picking my soul.
I made it my goal for revenge,
Rather than leaving before its end.
It's they're fault.

How could they do this?
How dare they do this!
Step into my life,
And torture my bliss
I didn't ask for a dime,
Yet received millions in filth.
(Hysterical laughter) Why is it so funny?

It's not your fault, nor her fault, nor they're fault.
No, It's my fault.

As I dig I lack results.
Yet I dig deeper on the cloud.
I ask myself, "Whose fault?"
The one who isn't proud.
Why can't I see it's me;
Opening the door to nothing?
Allowing the splinters be set free
As they start to sing
Of deceitful truth,
Of passion and care.
I go into the booth, Not a confession to spare.
Open eyes are more blind.
Closed eyes are not forced
To gaze upon false minds
or on pain; the source.

Truth is nonexistent.
It only helps us believe
We are good people.
Only bad people lie,
Right?
Bad people who care,
For what they want,
For themselves!
Why is it the seem
To help the most?
They commit to charity,
And the needs of others.
Publicity,
Self belief.
It is not the truth
That hurts these people,
But lies.
Truth is just another name.
Truth is the cover up called
Hypocrisy.
Everybody lies.
Each cause damage;
Torn relationships,
Torn reputations.
Everybody possesses evil.
Say, "hello," humanity.

"Boom, headshot!"

I'm coming for you,
My groundhog,
Furry adversary.
The next one's for you,
Maybe two.
I shoot first,
Ask questions later.
That's me
And you?
My target practice.
Tell your friends
I've got more.
Don't believe me?
Come out of you hole
And see!

Companionship is a journey.
It doesn't always end in happiness.
It tears you apart beyond
Recognition.
It gnaws at your emotions
And illuminates your sorrow.
Each day you struggle
With redundant pain, and
Weakness.
It is a roller coaster
With a fall in its track,
Where all emotions are mangles,
Where confusion is born,
Where regret is born.
You weren't a friend.
You were a lie.
Through revelations I see
You hated every bit,
Every idea of mine
From the start.
I see who you really are,
You sadistic caretaker of hate,
You become so heavy
I can no longer feed you
My weakness.
It's time for me to move on.

What can I do?
It's gone
It can't be true!
Oh Gargoyle, where are you?

You completed me
My life is nothing!
Where must you be?
The light I see!

Oh, Gargoyle! Come back to me!

Life.
Without it we are nothing
Yet with it I sometimes feel like
Nothing.

With death I am empty
Yet in life I am full of a very lively
Depression.

In life my closest companion
In the roughest of times is
Loneliness.

I see true happiness only
During the times where I am too
Blind to see sadness.

I fail to hide anger for those who
Care, yet fail to release anger for
Those who deserve.

I am so foreign to clarity that I am
Most confused during the clearest Of times.

Love heals my most painful
Wounds but creates my worst Memories.

It's always there.
You can ignore it
But it won't care,
Take a hit
It's still there.
Pour another drink
It just isn't fair,
What you might think
Is gone, is still there.
Troubles of the deep
Rip out your hair
Consider that leap,
It's always there.
Break your relationships
And it's still there.
What feels like a whip
It's always there
No matter how hard you try
You'll face despair,
No matter how high
It's always there.

You're beautiful,
I am too shy,
I guess I'm just
That kind of guy.
Your soothing voice
Sounds of angels,
Every time you speak
I feel so warm.
I have no choice
But to feel you,
To hold you tight
With all my might
I squeeze you
'Til you scream in fright
Oh what a sight!
Light up the night.
But I am sad, why?
I haven't the courage
To look into your twinkling eye.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

Til the window flew open, the thief did commence

He stole the boy's Xbox, and the girl's innocence

He crumbled the cookies, knocked over a glass

The father came out; shot him in the ***

The mother was screaming, in horror and fear

She didn't notice her son, he opened a beer

The cat ripped the stockings, the dog ate the goods

While all hell broke loose, the thief ran, to the woods

The girl found the phone, she held it so fond

She dialed 991, the girl was a blonde

She then started crying, the boy stomped around

Until he passed out, and fell to the ground

The clock chimed twelve times, the conscious met fright

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.