Oct 2018
This is my Magnum Opus, to the first boy I’ve ever loved.
The only lips I’ve wanted to kiss.
The only eyes I’ve wanted to drown in.
The only heart that I’ve wanted to possess.
For, after all of the *******, you were the first time I wanted everything.
I don’t even know how it happened so fast—the way my eyes magnetized directly to you, how I wanted you from the first time I caught your eye.
Call it fate, call it destiny—it doesn’t matter to me.
I just want you to love me, dear, as much as I love you.
Maybe I’m crazy.
After all, I’ve known you less than a month.
But I can’t help but feel as though some things were written in the stars.
I loved your face first. That soft smile and pretty eyes with lashes longer than the Nile.
Then I loved your laugh. So visceral and deep, yet soft and cute at the same time.
Your personality, though, that was when I knew I was doomed.
We loved the same movies. We were almost always on the same page. You showed me music that I’d never thought I’d enjoy; but somehow, you knew me so intrinsically.
I think you sealed the deal when I heard you sing.
If there’s one thing I’m defenseless against, it’s a boy who can sing.
Your voice was like melted caramel, so sweet and smooth and enticing—I was doomed from the moment I heard your siren call.
It didn’t help that you met my gaze as you sang, as though I was the only person in the world.
The passion in your face was enough to make me want to collapse. You should never have let me see those bedroom eyes.
I can’t get you out of my mind. Ever.
You’re always in my thoughts.
You whisper to me even when you’re not around.
I can hear what you would say if you were here.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could hide it, make it stop, ignore it.
But it hurts so much when I see you with someone new, you have no idea.
I feel the breath leave my lungs and the life leave my eyes
When I know you don't want me near
I hate myself for what I'm doing to my own heart and mind
But I know I'm defenseless against you.
Not with those soft doe eyes and a smile that makes my knees weak
Not with a scent that puts me completely at ease
I've been in love since I first laid eyes on you
And I may never fall out of love
But the biggest problem isn't that, love makes us human
The problem is, I can't stop the hurt.
The problem is how you have me wrapped around your little finger.
If I thought it would mean your happiness, I would tear myself apart
I would rip my heart from my chest
I would offer you the world at my expense
Because seeing you smile is all that I want.
It hurts when you want to be alone
Because I know how much I hate it.
I don't want to be alone, ever. Not when I could be with you.
You're the common thread in my nights, recently.
Whether we're tangled in my sheets or you're spitting insults, you can't seem to escape my dreams.
I wish it would stop
But all the same, I don’t want you to go
You’re all I want in life, but this makes it hurt all the more.
If only you could offer me something else
Something that I crave
I would be yours forever, darling,
But that’s a confession for another day.
The only lips I’ve wanted to kiss.
The only eyes I’ve wanted to drown in.
The only heart that I’ve wanted to possess.
For, after all of the *******, you were the first time I wanted everything.
I don’t even know how it happened so fast—the way my eyes magnetized directly to you, how I wanted you from the first time I caught your eye.
Call it fate, call it destiny—it doesn’t matter to me.
I just want you to love me, dear, as much as I love you.
Maybe I’m crazy.
After all, I’ve known you less than a month.
But I can’t help but feel as though some things were written in the stars.
I loved your face first. That soft smile and pretty eyes with lashes longer than the Nile.
Then I loved your laugh. So visceral and deep, yet soft and cute at the same time.
Your personality, though, that was when I knew I was doomed.
We loved the same movies. We were almost always on the same page. You showed me music that I’d never thought I’d enjoy; but somehow, you knew me so intrinsically.
I think you sealed the deal when I heard you sing.
If there’s one thing I’m defenseless against, it’s a boy who can sing.
Your voice was like melted caramel, so sweet and smooth and enticing—I was doomed from the moment I heard your siren call.
It didn’t help that you met my gaze as you sang, as though I was the only person in the world.
The passion in your face was enough to make me want to collapse. You should never have let me see those bedroom eyes.
I can’t get you out of my mind. Ever.
You’re always in my thoughts.
You whisper to me even when you’re not around.
I can hear what you would say if you were here.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could hide it, make it stop, ignore it.
But it hurts so much when I see you with someone new, you have no idea.
I feel the breath leave my lungs and the life leave my eyes
When I know you don't want me near
I hate myself for what I'm doing to my own heart and mind
But I know I'm defenseless against you.
Not with those soft doe eyes and a smile that makes my knees weak
Not with a scent that puts me completely at ease
I've been in love since I first laid eyes on you
And I may never fall out of love
But the biggest problem isn't that, love makes us human
The problem is, I can't stop the hurt.
The problem is how you have me wrapped around your little finger.
If I thought it would mean your happiness, I would tear myself apart
I would rip my heart from my chest
I would offer you the world at my expense
Because seeing you smile is all that I want.
It hurts when you want to be alone
Because I know how much I hate it.
I don't want to be alone, ever. Not when I could be with you.
You're the common thread in my nights, recently.
Whether we're tangled in my sheets or you're spitting insults, you can't seem to escape my dreams.
I wish it would stop
But all the same, I don’t want you to go
You’re all I want in life, but this makes it hurt all the more.
If only you could offer me something else
Something that I crave
I would be yours forever, darling,
But that’s a confession for another day.
