You cheat on me with
them and lie to me
about it. It makes
me want to throw up.
It makes me hate
myself deeply. It brings
back memories that are
disgusting.
Hurt.
Abuse.
Suffocating.
That's how it used to be.
"Swallow!"
Harshly said, because
they hate you, and so
do the rest.
Cough. It's infecting
my lungs as well.
You shouldn't exist. Stick
out your tongue and we'll
put this lit demon
out on it. Taste the
defection and the ash. Feel
the burn. Enjoy the
hatred and sick
pleasure they take in
the action of the cause.
We know it's wrong
and we choose to look
past these pains. Selfish affect
effects our better selves.
How does that feel in your
stomach? It felt depressing
as they force slid it down
my throat
in all literal terms.
They laughed. And
yelled. Development of
a physical sickness in my
insides and in my
mind. Make this stop. Please,
stop... Why can't you choose
me over them? No one has
ever chosen me over it all.
I can't deal with this cycle.
I can't remember. Something
will have to change.