Take me to Gelena in the winter where our lungs will be crowded with icicles as our capillaries assemble on edge each and every one aching just to quiver like my bottom lip that I simply can't control oblivious to the weather though fueled by a shroud of eager anxiety that covers and embraces my skin like the quick and even breathes I'm taking to stay awake in something that predicts like a dream
Follow me close as I perceive this vividly that the moment bookshelved between inhale and exasperated exhale is flooded with thoughts of you that I would drown in it willingly and all I can credit my thoughts to be is to wonder if I am lucid dreaming or not of your lips on mine of your fingers earnestly entwined in my shaggy hair as you pull me closer and I can smell your warmth and feel your passion through this possibility that our our hands are locked like the door of my bedroom every night in my empty apartment because being safe has taken me 21 years to understand and even then the fear shamefully crawls its way into my spine but it is in this ten seconds I can finally sink into this fogless reality of enjoyment and felicity
And in this accelerating sound of assurance I will teach you the language I studied in moments so short that a staccato could fill two lungs tip top and still be 100 yards behind this message gawking at the starting line and as the gun goes off I am already there lungs filled wanting to do justice with more than just an ***** in my chest but with the treatment hidden inside skipping beats and minds running and screaming so loudly as I'm howling this adamant resonance from the top of the complex to empty my mind until my throat is sore until what follows are the neighbors voices escaping angrily open windows bellowing at me to please turn it down for the umpteenth time but I want to remedy this disease with the softness of your neck I want to hold you close with your head nestled in my shoulder where scars beneath clothes usually sit dishonorably but not now because now they know a relentless forgiveness and amity so authentic that now I can exhale
I have the windows down for the first time it's 60 degrees this night. I'm sweaty from my workout the breeze is causing the hairs on my arm to stand on end. The cold is mildly to somewhat uncomfortable, but I refuse a jacket so I can at least feel something right now. I blast my ****** up music as high as it can go so the vibrations hit my arm hairs. I need the sensation to remember I'm here as I autopilot this car home. Anything past my headlights isn't there, and you can't tell me it is. Anything closer is a day dream. And the eye's the prize because this isn't sweat rolling down my cheek, just my furrowed temple. That's tears my friend and salt is all the same when it stings into wounds. Don't worry, though, I'll be home soon. For what that's worth nowadays.
I wonder if I could hang on I say as I trip into the sun never been one for balance as Libras usually come
I have done nothing creative for about four or five years. From now I'm finding myself back to a person assumed lost forever. But I'm trying, so be at peace with me posting here as I claim to be not one of any talent or in search of any praise or notice.
I'll invade your dreams , wake you up in a bed sweat make you sleepwalk through all the things you haven't felt yet enough is never enough but what I know is what I know most things never need a spoiler warning because they aren't fresh in the first place
365 days ago I met you well sort of anyways in the strangest way and 365 days ago I would never know that impact that is sorely does now because a year ago I was a clean slate and now I feel the reverberations of strong words being forever scratched into my chest tattooed into my sternum like the biggest regret that the cover up story is "for the art" though behind my teeth I know false tones come from my throat
What is it with you and pictures of "attractive" girls with their cigarettes and half ***** bodies as I'm left standing with my Turkish Royals watching this helpless accompanied by a heavy heart and ash on my pants weighed down by your judgment and disgust?
I struggled to stick a tooth pick in my mouth conflicted attempts when a cigarette was already there resting patiently on my lips eager for opportunity ready and waiting it's forever faithful turn in a line that leads to the fire that sparks it's beginning it's short lived life basked in a soulful resistance to the care of my body
Can easy mac be used in reference to care and foresight? Because I can't forsee the reach I'm about to give so I'm entangled in an objective to reach correct perspective can things such as easy mac be used to solve this disease?
To whence I came? Who do you think I am? The fact that I trust my self says I am a disregarded human being unto reality at least tell me that because I can assure you no one else actually knows the answers they just come up with stories that sound vocally pleasing and logically teasing to challenge the brain so some clues and general feedback would be hella nice
There is an ocean placed in my head brewing a rolling storm lightning strikes and thunder claps collapsing what I love pouring thousands of beads of water from the sky battering my body down like bats
I'm not a sailor or a can do tailor I fear what I've done casted into bottles built of sand and salt it's not my fault I've lost my way again
The compas rose is no bouquet to navigate maps tangent as the needle corrects my distance I'm definitely not built to be a sailor I have no plank, no glass, no tie no brawn is shown here to tether salt left the tears to cry over the cracked mast that supports this vessel with a skeleton that's barely alive
now let alone I'm not no swimmer I choke on the sound of simple showers drown in rain two inches deep brushing against the dew of fields of flowers ahead of stands that are just too steep
wading through this mess this diversion to keep in mind a confession yet to suppress it's mild ******* thrown precaution to the wind currently it's my turn and I'm diving in towards response regarding cautionary rejection
vain to vests as a carpe diem skillfully a hypocrite in order to believe in holding onto oxygen like it's a religion one last take in hold... it's out sinking through to ******* these waves
Future breeds with consequence needs all in the moment now that’s right the morrow is a sorrow and subject satisfaction Go on the hangover headaches to balconies happiness in LSD and the rest of the brigade because you're a born showman with zero results Two times out of ten you don’t have the call vanities aside I’m giving up on all of the toxic you can’t possibly begin to imagine how little you seem now
It's coursing as of right now trampling feats and feets alike cramming counterparts and awe into a shed of a shack of wood on wheels pulled by once brillig and bluderbus boys but the appalling truth of the matter is it'll downpour and quench this parade even if it's pace is merely strolling in about an hour and a twenty you better get rolling you wouldn't want to go and miss the best part just like life now would you?
I snapped my shoudler back and apart my girlfriend's a schizophrenic and I'm shy to sandcastles The crank lost it's last ***** a one person axe yard because he's married to smokes though the cutest couple goes to Columbia and Magenta as Batman's into bandanas so put one on the handle though a wrist will be as good as plenty as the campfire fades away with gentlemen of sorts
I wouldn't put it past you to put me out so instead come a little closer see what it is you can deny it and shut me down or you can take it and appreciate understand I'm putting it in your reach this time stretching a little further it's dangerous for me but I'd always extend myself no matter the costs all for you
I'm consumed by frozen thought when you ask such things there's not enough moments to consider what is even happening around me I jolt I'm left to irrational thinking as an entirety my mind is not awake but busting like **** on overdose Bustling with industrious city streets thrusted to the marrow with teeming life I can't concentrate and my body stiffens I appear like I don't care like I don't feel like I'm not there because I'm not and yet I am sure thing the answers don't formulate well in my head as you have heard but still i travel so far in my efforts to conjure a word a thought maybe even an inkling of what I'm going to spurt next alas again I am left void of words none whatsoever all of this taking places so rushed it feels like a dozen hours wrought to the bone with anxiety when it has only in reality been a handful of seconds ticking away as I am left blank in which you are leaving breathes taken fast like this is all ending you just get up and leave my thoughts are perplexed how am i supposed to continuously handle that? Dish this out too often I'm starving on this abandonment in weak hours and my most fragile moments you didn't kiss me goodbye threads left open and sore my heart aches as I can'y sleep this night you left me again and as you had raced to pack you left me crying as you went about just as you do you just got up and left me why am I not used to this by now? again
I wrote this in the middle of the night a few days ago when I was barely awake so yeah meow
Minds over what matters rules swelling rocks that erupt this blink term my thumb holds more than this heals reception I want to feel something real wary at four in the morning when the records come opening files and folders ripping deep in sensation as this shakes my state
I found a whistle now lets have some fun weekend wars yeah its overwhelming but what with sleepwalking scandals ****** in every open door it's shutting on your hand Here it comes night on the sun mad as rabbits we yearn for a nourishment solute Jimmy is colorblind running the counter bring in the cavalry give him your thoughts on a fleeting education I've got your money. so what are you going to do? Pursuits are happiness and a recluse is a muse. Here it comes night on the sun mad as rabbits we yearn for sewn on patches cigarettes canteens of barter keys and a whisk savor stay at home peace make the money off of the cancer sticks and I'll present to you medication because you look so fine Go on you look so ravishingly devine
Handheld and brain dead looking for a job written up on side speak mouths pursed poised to **** remember their last sentence lingering judgements held high in the air hanging more years to a life keen on redemption enclosed in a wall space that is producing the paralyzed as pockets burst with the reward of amounts that would make you sick to your stomach and a familiar breath is all you need
I love to sleep I pretend I forget I take it in doses pretending I’m dead and as I awake It’s a shun just to know that I’m ****** into the next day with nothing to show except empty lined pockets turned out just to tell running from this life with soles smooth as **** I neglect all ambition and travel on foot a shadow for companion and at nights I take note that this is not the last time that I will fill this void with ripped up repeats and pieces that don’t fit into my life I’m a traveling band that plays music so solemn a soundtrack to my days spent reused and for joy written on misuse and caution signs beware that one day ill find you and you won’t believe the way my eyes scream for help and you’re the air that I breathe I’m more than depressed more than they say and your time won’t be wasted on a misfit like me I’m more than broken I’m more than just the surface because I used to lose control I misplaced the intentions but now I’m waiting here blind folded bracing my self waiting for the gun to go off hoping ill be blown away and I’ll wake up look into that mirror and know that someday I’ll hear someone whisper… “You’re the one”
Namesake factories throats built for circumstance going to be involved character dealt upon a **** hand dealership fighting a feasibly sliced stack of chance allotted with time and pollution that's why I love simple perfect even for sensitive skins
Try me that's not a challenge but see what happens I don't even know for sure it scares me they say three strikes and you’re out I give second chances too easily I’ve learned the hard way many a time before when do I learn to stop and say anything like that’s not right or hey that hurts please stop or it will hurt more when I decide to say that’s enough trust me I’ve learned my lesson I know I can’t handle it it rips me open and exposes the tendons and I bleed everywhere broken
Finally finished it, with a little beginning added on. Before it was a straight shot thought process, boom words, type, done, don't fix a thing. Now i added. so yes. words.
Deaden eat the anesthetic immobilize you've swallowed the sickness tense and digest realize the condition is terminal if you keep on this prosthetic infection numb gone to affection substantial reality unfeigned you're taking wired deceit and tainted addictive lies hollow promises that fade out and two time your eyes that engorge in getting progressively horrendous planting a holocaust within your insides that hurts that stains that agonizes the many around you those few close to you ripping them up destroying that one that would do anything for you their lives and yes you too it doesn't forget it can't it takes it all into account even when you don't when you can't it gleefully watches the struggle the diseased suffering and you keep on trekking that self destructive trail in the midst of a mist so unsure and insecure keeping you grounded in a life that's actually not and it's turning those in sequence to actually nots recall? but you don't or can't who can tell? but instead of ruining this real world live what's actually there face it with them and yourself as just yourself even with the little painsake mistakes there's a glistening future ahead refine time to be here awake nothing else but you alive
Just want an excuse to kiss me not allowed please would you like to stop that this instance I can’t see over you your forehead and high horse it's going to have to learn you need to actually shut the door and shut your face stop that **** is it cracked? Go back and stack that thank you give me some credit I like the music and I do this for a living
Sit up head back listen to the words **** that too I’m sorry man No people I don’t even have to say that so would you terribly mind? I didn't realize honestly please don’t take this off don't let me take this the wrong way refrain no one wants to see that poisoning the water supply feeling efficient you're pretty **** close woah step back and excuse your unwanted interjections
It's like you cut me down and I went into defensive mode but really it was a shut down pull the plug and I became numb gave up extensive falling into the depths of sleep I'm just an idiot waiting here not wanting you to feel awful but right now for now I'm gone
Excuse me sir the mirrors talk and in this hole they say you can reach a million that you can stir wonder in many but it's cheap entertainment really though it's all in good fun I say it's just a start
I can't remember what I just said the two sides of my brain are rubbing together flames until the end light and purely standing telling you how I feel commanding a full attention crashing into an easier everything I felt was stopped crossed your heart right there this time was different for sure