When you ever looked at me
With this sweet uncertainty in your eyes
As if I could get sick of you
And told me haltingly
That it was okay if I wanted to go,
I couldn’t even be scared anymore-
A laugh escaped me
Pure incredulity
And my heart was full for one moment
Of laughter and sunny days
Because I had never heard anything
So absurd in all my life.
Here I was
Fighting tooth and nail
Grappling with my feelings for you
Dizzy with fear tinged joy,
Hoping to steal one more minute with you
Before you found me out and leapt back in shock and fear,
And you were watching me, worried
That I would take back what little affection I’d let escape?
It still makes me smile,
The innocence I saw in you then.
It warms my soul
Not just because it means you care
But because I love that part of you.
Something survived all these years,
All this suffering and turmoil,
Just to gaze at me with that tenuous look
And assume I could do anything but love you for it.
I was speechless, I was floored,
Suddenly reassuring you in a rush-
‘No, no, it makes my whole DAY to talk to you’
Tripping over my words
For a new reason.
It was my first glimpse of why
You don’t know I love you
Even though I’ve told you.
You’re a little bit like me, aren’t you?
You’ve been the sorry one
Haven’t you?
The one who doesn’t belong anywhere.
Darling, I hope you never feel sorry again.
I hope you bloom under this love-
Mine and his,
Mine and his and everyone’s, because they feel it, they have to.
I’ll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe-
Anyone who doesn’t treasure every minute they get with you
Is a ******* idiot
And that’s all there is to it.