oh i'm not ashamed of
my living arrangements,
by the way...
did you know that Jews were
a huge minority in Poland,
and that the Roma still are?
yeah...
i hate how Brussels
discriminates against
Ukrainians...
   they practically own
the Warsaw underbelly of
commerce -
as do the Roma community
in little, ****-shows worth
the status of town in which
i was born...
see... if some schmuck
didn't sell the metalwork
factory in my hometown -
i probably wouldn't be
the son of economic migrants...
probably entrenched
in a job at the factory...
a migrant nonetheless -
whether inter-national or
intra-national,
still a ******* migrant...
   whenever i go back i am
vaguely home...
the weirdest part is passing
through Warsaw...
   it's as if these people,
in their hive, collective,
are an extension of me...
but it's a strange sensation looking
at people,
of the same ethnicity...
in a monolithic mesh -
in a monochromatic assembly
that's... after growing up
in London...
  oddly enough: nauseating...
no turban,
   no sub-Saharan?
**** me...
         i'm sinking into a sand-pint...
gets me every time,
only when i reach the small
hometown, that used
to be budding with life
can i relax... somehow...
i'm only visiting my grandparents
who are on their way out...
one has dementia,
is an ex-alcoholic...
the other is also popping pills
and sleepwalks
- sure as **** she talks in
a half-sleep state about
her low sugar levels of her blood...
fair enough...
yeah...
i still live with my parents...
i'm not going to lie about
having room-mates in order
to get laid...
        but then i drink a liter of
whiskey, or *****,
every single night,
and the only complaints i get
are from my ****-of-a-neighbor,
who presumes there are
no private property laws...
e.g. i'm supposed to ask
permission to cook a b.b.q.
because he's drying his washing
in the garden...
as i apparently can't
smoke a cigarette out of my window
on the sill...
because:
THE HEATWAVE WASN'T THE PROBLEM...
buy some ******* air conditioning,
the child is crying because
of the ******* heat!
my cigarette smoke is zilch...
   compared to the heat...
i moaned and groaned
in those weeks of July...
rolled off my bed,
then ran into the garden wearing
underwear and floored myself
on the cold grass in the shade...
what else am i or was supposed
to do?
    tells you a lot about
living arrangements in England...
with the alternative being?
homeless...
living in a forest...
  or paying excruciating rent
to a complete ******* stranger...
why would i pay for something
i won't ever own?!
i'm not proud because of this...
but certainly not ashamed.