Sep 2018
Perishable love only becomes relevant once the sun sets on the town you lived in while sleeping apart
Pain seem eternal while stuck in the trenches
Anger feels better then sadness
Though the two seem to dance together on top of my heart these days
You once asked me why I have so many cigarette burns down my arm
Look in the mirror darling and think back on what you did to me
There's your answer
Marks to never forget
I buried a box in a field that they want to turn into a graveyard
In it was the memories of all the nights you let me down
Why accept a ring if you planned on tossing me off a cliff?
Why say I do, if you really meant I don't?
The hotel room I reside in now has a widow facing north
that overlooks the part of the city where we started our foundation and it makes me sick
I hope that everywhere you and him look in my house, you see my ghost
You see the presence of a man that gave you his world only to have your lies eat the stone he was standing on until it cracked and he was washed down the river away from you forever
The last few conversations we've had have been about money
It turns my stomach to degrade love to paper but if that is what it takes to never see or hear from you again, take everything I have
You've become a spitting image of my fathers favorite joke
"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."
The hand that dealt my cards is laughing at me for trying to play wilds when it was just a regular game
If time could speak, it'd tell me that I should be embarrassed for wasting so much of it on you
Today, when I went down to the lobby they were playing the same song you walked down the aisle too, and I rushed outside to have a cigarette and avoid the feelings that were bound to follow
They vanished with the smoke and just like my love for you,
it turned to ashes
I also avoid mirrors now
A humorous consequence of getting a lovers name tattooed over your heart
I want to cut it off though I'm already in enough pain
Tonight I'm catching a flight out of town to go be with another
Anothers
Attempting to get in a million memories in hopes that any one of you and I get pushed so far back that I will forget the way your voice sounds
Or the way your hands look
Or the way I adored you most when you were half asleep
Beyond all this hurt, opportunity is knocking at my door
I'm holding off on opening it for now because I'm not ready for anything at this point, and all I really want to do is close my eyes and never wake back up
Because even during sleep, you and him haunt me
After years of being with someone, avoiding things that remind you of them is like dodging traffic
After years of being with someone, trying to move on is like sky diving without chute
Falling
That's my existence this month
No matter where and what I'm doing, your cheating and lying have injected memories in my head that I never even saw, just know about
I long for the day where I'm hurting from another
I long for the day where I forget what your eyes look like
I'm chasing a bag in the wind hoping it covers my face
Pain seem eternal while stuck in the trenches
Anger feels better then sadness
Though the two seem to dance together on top of my heart these days
You once asked me why I have so many cigarette burns down my arm
Look in the mirror darling and think back on what you did to me
There's your answer
Marks to never forget
I buried a box in a field that they want to turn into a graveyard
In it was the memories of all the nights you let me down
Why accept a ring if you planned on tossing me off a cliff?
Why say I do, if you really meant I don't?
The hotel room I reside in now has a widow facing north
that overlooks the part of the city where we started our foundation and it makes me sick
I hope that everywhere you and him look in my house, you see my ghost
You see the presence of a man that gave you his world only to have your lies eat the stone he was standing on until it cracked and he was washed down the river away from you forever
The last few conversations we've had have been about money
It turns my stomach to degrade love to paper but if that is what it takes to never see or hear from you again, take everything I have
You've become a spitting image of my fathers favorite joke
"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."
The hand that dealt my cards is laughing at me for trying to play wilds when it was just a regular game
If time could speak, it'd tell me that I should be embarrassed for wasting so much of it on you
Today, when I went down to the lobby they were playing the same song you walked down the aisle too, and I rushed outside to have a cigarette and avoid the feelings that were bound to follow
They vanished with the smoke and just like my love for you,
it turned to ashes
I also avoid mirrors now
A humorous consequence of getting a lovers name tattooed over your heart
I want to cut it off though I'm already in enough pain
Tonight I'm catching a flight out of town to go be with another
Anothers
Attempting to get in a million memories in hopes that any one of you and I get pushed so far back that I will forget the way your voice sounds
Or the way your hands look
Or the way I adored you most when you were half asleep
Beyond all this hurt, opportunity is knocking at my door
I'm holding off on opening it for now because I'm not ready for anything at this point, and all I really want to do is close my eyes and never wake back up
Because even during sleep, you and him haunt me
After years of being with someone, avoiding things that remind you of them is like dodging traffic
After years of being with someone, trying to move on is like sky diving without chute
Falling
That's my existence this month
No matter where and what I'm doing, your cheating and lying have injected memories in my head that I never even saw, just know about
I long for the day where I'm hurting from another
I long for the day where I forget what your eyes look like
I'm chasing a bag in the wind hoping it covers my face
