“You sure do worry a lot.”
You’re not wrong there.
I worry
That you’ll see through me
And that you won’t like
What you find.
I worry
You’ll get bored with me
Or tired of my constant passions,
My midnight thoughts and my
Searching.
I worry
That you’ll be afraid of me
When you finally realize
Who I am,
That you won’t
Want to know me anymore-
That you’ll take back this fragile intimacy
This connection
And I will be
All alone again
But with a fresh memory
To hurt over.
I worry
That you’ll think
I can’t meet your eyes
Because I’m afraid of you
Or because
I am a liar
When really
I am struggling with myself
Afraid of my loneliness and my honesty
Afraid that in betraying myself I’ll betray
You.
I’m worried
I’ll wake up one morning
And you’ll have vanished like the ghost you say you feel like
Disappeared
And that I will be
The haunted one
Struggling to adjust to the bitter emptiness you would already leave behind in me.
I have been there before
I have had the dark
Pour into my chest like black water
Rushing to fill the space
Of someone suddenly gone.
It felt like
Drowning.
Please, be gentle with me.
Please, don’t forget me.
Please, forgive me.
I am trying
Not to worry.