“Hello,
I would like some poison
portioned over the night. Yes,
I would also like to stand somewhere
like a subway car, but darker and louder.
100 bucks? Wonderful,
will that also help me feel like **** tomorrow?
Great.”

“Hi, yes –
please cut into my face
for no apparent reason.
Yes, pull out my tooth
to quell an inconvenience.
Substitute it with a worse inconvenience,
and bill me $1000.”