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Sep 2018
You’re Nothing.
No one notices that you’ve been a little bit off,
until you hit rock bottom,
until they see physical scars.
Putting on your smile mask everyday,
you’ve been so hurt you don’t want to play.
Everything in your eyes turns gray.
You think there’s no-one to catch you when you fall,
nobody to be by your side when you go.
You fall in a big hole,
you’re stuck there until you figure your way out.

You go to school,
laugh like everything’s alright.
They know nothing,
just keep fighting.
All by yourself, until you find the light.
Voices in your head telling you you’re not good enough.
You tell yourself, “Oh it’s just a bad day”, and try to be tough.

You‘ve finally made it home.
Nobody watching you.
You hide in your room thinking to yourself,
every thought that comes brings you guilt,
and you can’t go back in time, so you just cry.
Cry your eyes out the whole night.
Questioning your existence,
trying to get a stronger resistance,
with no assistance.

Anxiety comes and tells you you’re ugly, fat, and stupid.
You’re a disappointment to your parents, You let everyone down.
You’re worth nothing, you matter zero to anyone.
You hate yourself, you hate your body,
and that’s why you cut it all over so.

They ask you how you’re doing, you answer with just “fine.”
But You know nothing’s going right.
You don’t want to keep going,
because you’re hiding so many thoughts,
But, you can't just let it all out,
Because you don't know how the world around you would respond.
You want to end all of this now,
but somehow, the ones that say they can help you,
they expect you to make and keep a vow
A vow not to see another blood drip
Oh God,
What a great idea,
why didn't you think of that?
Yeah just don't cut anymore,
It's sooo easy,
just keep your hands tied.
But in all honesty,
you keep it only in the names of the ones you love.
So they don't blame your hurt back on you
What was happiness like?
You don’t remember, because you haven’t felt that in months
They say “be yourself”
But you don’t even know you, who are you?
you’ve been lost
Written by
Helina  F
(F)   
291
   Fawn and Mayaa
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