They say insanity is
Doing the same thing
Over and over again
And expecting a different result.

But what’s the word
For trying everything possible
and not seeing a change?

The doctor asks me
How many pounds I can lift
Before it hurts and I don’t know
How to answer because there isn’t a scale
To measure the weight of depression.

He asks me where I feel the pain
And I say my back
But I don’t mention my brain and my heart
Because that’s not what I came here for

He asks me if I eat well,
I say yes because being full
is the only thing
that makes me feel less empty.

He asks me what makes it hurt more
I say everything,
But I want to scream for him to fix
Not only my back,
But what’s going on inside my head

An MRI tells me it’s a fracture,
Which proves my constant misery,
Unfortunately, it doesn’t show
My constant anxiety

Maybe that’s not so unfortunate

Later, people ask me why I’m crying
And I say it’s my back but only because
That’s an easier place to point to.