raindrop memories

the vivid pictures of raindrops tapping on windshields have always been something to stay with me. my raindrop memories of you were my most special but as of late they've brought me nothing but sorrow. the way your windows cried as we sat in our own euphoria, shielded from the evils which plagued us reminds me now of the way i had thunderstorms in my eyes when you left. i have an entire playlist of songs that i can't bring myself to listen to anymore because every note reminds me of my fingers locked with yours and every strum tugs at my heartstrings so hard they ache there's no amount of pills in the world that could help me forget what your touch felt like there's nothing on this earth that could soothe the ache in my stomach that arises when I hear your name i thought of putting my pretty neck through a fucking noose once or twice since then because i feel like i'm drowning and nobody knows how to swim i can never be sure of how it feels to be shrouded in genuine happiness because all this time i thought you were the source of mine but how could something so perfect be so corrupt? how could you take your once gentle hands and wrap them around my neck? squeezing the life from my lungs while hot tears dance on my cheeks just like the raindrops on your windshield.

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