sometimes if i turn my head to fast
i still get dizzy. and the panic that seizes every nerve,
each fiber, consumes me. becomes me
                                                                            it is not possible, no
my own brand of paralysis.
the same hollow, infinite, deafening silence which
cannot be erased. that i am still
running from

it is all i remember.

and then i grab, clawing through empty air
                  trying to find solid matter.
to steady
                   myself
anywhere
                   *anywhere?