Sep 2018
Stressed mother to overwhelmed son,
“You look really tired today”
Overwhelmed son to stressed mother,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
Empty beer bottle to overwhelmed son’s mouth,
You will drink me until you cannot feel anything else,
Cigarette ad to overwhelmed son,
It would be so easy for you to love my smoke again,
Overwhelmed son,
“I will get through this, even if it kills me one day”
Overworked father to overwhelmed son,
“You haven’t left your bed besides work, and even when you come home, the first thing you do is go to bed, and I am worried about you”
Overwhelmed son to overworked father,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately,
But I am okay
Education to overwhelmed son,
Your debt is heavier than the world and you will be paying for the things you haven’t learned for the rest of your life,
Overwhelmed son,
Everything is as heavy as the world, and I will break and get crushed until my body is sand on the beaches of the oceans I’ll never get the chance to visit
When I was 5 years old I visited Disney World, and the fireworks there burned brighter than anything I had ever seen before,
When I was 16 years old, I was burning bridges and cigarettes until I could no longer cross relationships and friendships and no amount of nicotine could make my lungs happy enough
But I will slip, and I will still burn, and I will never learn how to swim, and my lungs stopped knowing happiness when I breathed in anxiety and exhaled depression,
When I stopped breathing in oxygen and replaced it with fire, when I stopped exhaling full breaths and started exhaling as little as I could,
I don’t want to pass out, I want to keep as much as I can because I know I will never get it back
And I will be alone in this because I have forgotten how to trust,
And I will live like this until I can no longer trust myself
Overwhelmed son to worried mother and father,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
*I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay
“You look really tired today”
Overwhelmed son to stressed mother,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
Empty beer bottle to overwhelmed son’s mouth,
You will drink me until you cannot feel anything else,
Cigarette ad to overwhelmed son,
It would be so easy for you to love my smoke again,
Overwhelmed son,
“I will get through this, even if it kills me one day”
Overworked father to overwhelmed son,
“You haven’t left your bed besides work, and even when you come home, the first thing you do is go to bed, and I am worried about you”
Overwhelmed son to overworked father,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately,
But I am okay
Education to overwhelmed son,
Your debt is heavier than the world and you will be paying for the things you haven’t learned for the rest of your life,
Overwhelmed son,
Everything is as heavy as the world, and I will break and get crushed until my body is sand on the beaches of the oceans I’ll never get the chance to visit
When I was 5 years old I visited Disney World, and the fireworks there burned brighter than anything I had ever seen before,
When I was 16 years old, I was burning bridges and cigarettes until I could no longer cross relationships and friendships and no amount of nicotine could make my lungs happy enough
But I will slip, and I will still burn, and I will never learn how to swim, and my lungs stopped knowing happiness when I breathed in anxiety and exhaled depression,
When I stopped breathing in oxygen and replaced it with fire, when I stopped exhaling full breaths and started exhaling as little as I could,
I don’t want to pass out, I want to keep as much as I can because I know I will never get it back
And I will be alone in this because I have forgotten how to trust,
And I will live like this until I can no longer trust myself
Overwhelmed son to worried mother and father,
“I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay”
*I just haven’t been able to sleep well lately, but I am okay
