i find myself reminiscing on
the past a whole lot more than
i ever thought i would.
i think of the day i first started
high school. bright eyes, long
hair and a cheerful attitude.

i look at myself in the mirror now.
my final year of school with eye
bags so deep you could drown
in them. split skin and veins drained
of blood. the cheerful attitude
disappeared with the child i was 5
years ago, a distant memory now.

my war-torn heart can no longer
go through another day without
breaking a little more and my brain
is so full of thoughts that i fear one day
they will spill from my ears.

my hair's gone now. a reminder of
hope so far lost that i doubt i'll ever
find it. my eyes are barely dry anymore.
my skin barely ever clear of blood.
my face barely seen without a cloud of
smoke surrounding it.
my heart barely pumping.

five years has taken it's toll on me and
it is no way my fault.

humans can cause other humans to
do insane things. things unheard of.
and i am the perfect example.