characterless and beautiful; those mourning voices- I am too accustomed- of life's ******* fumes- is this not a reality/ or just my mind's brilliance? I am sweet- , it's like telling me I am good but no good- those ***** nights- that you might even **** for good black and white- am I the only one looking at grey? so as it appears- that lust wins, for all, and for good is there any remedy for mind- thinking mind obsessed with your thoughts? oh honey, did I say not that you are beautiful- we are not match. thereby not compatible- yet I can't take my mind off you saving me a cure, for this illness thats growing in my flesh and bones exactly this is not a meditation- writing for heart, or memory - or say reliving lusting memory so as it is, it may be- are we allowed to say' its hurting' or just be shut up about life- and pretend 'its polite not to be too open'. its like a British thing - too swallowed up inside; yet so many people on street, lying down- looking for spare change- or ***; people will say oh its 'dependence on *****'- *******, to all- who says but who am I to say this? I am like running blue and black- at the same time; wishing to un-done my love and could give them to people, who need these words smell like decay- well break it more- who would bother as if we really care- I feel empty, vain and disdain- how openly I confess more? enough of this- let's just go back, this mind's brilliance is for nothing it's all like an old brag- just take a drag, and steel the moments from night don't be bothered- why to read this, I am not interested there aren't any running thoughts behind, but who cares? its all surrealistic, struggling to accept- you are nowhere around. be a characterless *****, you foolish heart- be a *****- **** you for these unnecessary troubles- frozen in this realm of life and death- floating around somewhere in between only if you were around.