listen to a higher love..but i cant find it
searching under rocks and hurdles that i create in my head unable to fill this.
questions circulate
the torture i place on my own plate
to eat and swallow like the shallow tears
that wont surface for over the years
I have hardened my jaded heart giving me solemn and yet peace
i have to learn to release,

release the pain, let go of the demon tht lies in wait
for me to give in and exhibit my inherited trait
selfish, not selfless like tht which i yearn for
draining good hearts and killing my own
fill this whole with what i own.

taking and taking leaving sludge of regret
listening to those demeaning voices in my head.
saying youre just like her you cant walk away
even when if it means

being alone possibly forever.