I hate it,
I can't take it anymore!

I'm tired of crying,
Just because I'm seeing something that leaves me in awe...

I hate myself,
I hate everything I am,
I hate how I can't come up with any kind of special plan,
The type that gives you warmth,
The type that makes you cry,
The type where you're left wondering why...

The type, where in the end...
Everything turns out alright.

I hate that I can't do anything with my life.
Seeing any kind of story makes me want to cry,
And now, I'm the one asking why!

I have my reasons for romantic,
But those masterpieces make me want to give up and die.

And there's school tomorrow,
I don't want to do it.
I don't want to wake up tomorrow, and put my back into it.

I know I'll never pass,
My memory is **** as hell,
If anything, I'll be hitting the table, with blood running down my hands,
Because I can't do my ******* math...

I'm sick of this...

Irrelevant, pointless,  meaningless, talentless,
Every one of those I am!
I hate being me,

Please help me...

Though... I know you can't.
I know this is the best life gets...
I know you can't fix this mess,
This broken machine.

What's the point of throwing myself at love...
When in the end, I'll just be left,
Like trash?

And I can't trust a soul...
This monster in my head has long taken control...

In the end, it never seems enough.
It feels like they don't care about me,
And I try so hard to block out that voice,
But it comes back, giving me no ******* choice...

And it doesn't matter, since even love...
Wouldn't be able to let me pass through all of my broken dreams,
Without tears...

And I'm crying tonight,
Having no idea what I can do...
And even if I try,
There's no memories I can use,

To keep myself distracted from this nightmare...

And every fiber of my being wants to see that little ray of hope, that light...
But every single night...
A little bit more of me dies inside...
Pushing me to the end...

So I just go to sleep...
Because in that endless void, that darkness filled pit...
I feel more at home...

I like to think I feel more alive by my own, alone...

But watching all those stupid movies...
All those stupid things...

Reminds me I want to be,
I want to feel...

Just like them...

I want someone to hold my hand...
Want someone to tell me they're never going away...

But... I know... I'd never believe them in the first place...
I'd laugh at them, hiding my tears under a facade.

And I'm tired...

Dried eyes, by now.
I know there's nothing more I can do.
This kid, that anybody hardly knew...
Is lost in time, in his own mind...
Will he ever make it out?

Well for one... I am full of doubt.

And I don't even know why...
I try...
Since every single time...
I'm left, dead inside...
Yet, afraid to die...


And I don't even know why...
I try...
Since every single time...
I'm left, dead inside...
Yet, afraid to die...

Though, that... I'm not scared to try.