Self destruction is taught
From age 9
Father leaves home, holding yet another suitcase
You hold his arms and legs, you beg him to stay
But staying is as bad as leaving he says, and he leaves.
From age 15 you learn of attention
The feeling of being noticed, of being wanted
Unlike ever before
A man looks at you
No matter the age, you want that man to love you
To need you
You want to stay with him
But staying is as bad as leaving he says, as he pushes you out of his bed.
From 16 you learn of your Mother
Men come and go
You become attached to this father figure, loving you
Unlike your own
They stalk, they prowl, they become animals
Looking at you like meat
Loving you in other ways
Loving your mother for who she introduced them to, and as
You ask them to leave,
But staying is better than leaving they say, as they close the door to your mothers room.
From 17 you learn of Death
It is close and true
It is real and something guaranteed,
You realize this as you're slicing your skin
You write the note as the blood drips
Because leaving is as bad as staying you say, as you swallow the pills
Because being dead is better than being treated like you should be.