today i am yellow
not that neon yellow that
shouts at you to wake up from the bedside,
but instead that soft, quiet yellow
whispering at you to with coffee
from the doorway.
today i am yellow.
the yellow in a sunset,
bidding farewell to another day
gone awry
--
today i am abused.
not that i checked my schedule and
thought that today would work, but that
i looked at my schedule
and saw it was the 5 year anniversary
five years strong *******
five years ever changed, guys.
today i am abused.
not physically, where you can see it
but bruises that are shaped like hickies
and those hickies whisper sorry to me
and i repeat it every 3 seconds,
as though i'm on repeat.
---
today i am lost
not lost on a map as though i'm looking for treasure
but lost, like i get, when i search for my soul
my soul is fragile just like
my searching abilities
---
but just like yellow, abuse, and lost souls
i am drifting home so soon
and i see so much in front of me
but for now i am yellow
a lost soul
and abused