Wrestling with my self
always in this personal hell
cigarettes make my lungs tight : still a delight.

This over played day is out of date
if you wait too long , it might be too late.
To save me from this fate.

Sadness slowly being replaced
Anger bites my tongue every time I speak
Keep telling myself that i'm weak

Sunlight burns my eyes
Careful now, you may see through my poor disguise
My mask is cracking.
But if I keep laughing
no one will notice my smoke signals
Getting out of this hell
yet every time i've fallen
i slide back into comfort
          lets see,
how can i make this work ?
rearranging my wires , till i've fixed one short.
Still
       not
            enough.