it's so hard for me to start conversations because i'm hopelessly picky.
if i talk to you, i want to talk about something that will keep the conversation going.
i hate when there's silence, and i hate when i struggle to find something to reply with.
i hate when you send "yeah" or "okay" because that means this conversation is over and i have to struggle to start a new one.
i don't want to bore you with my weak attempts at keeping you close.
i want you to talk to me, i want you to want to talk to me.
i want enthusiasm and i don't want to have to rattle my brain to keep it up, because it was never like that.
but it's not as easy as it used to be.
i revel in the rare days that we talk nonstop for hours.
the days where conversation is so simple and never wears out.
but i know that after a day like that
there's only silence until one of us figures out something else to say.