It's become simpler now
Now that I've walked through the coming autumn
And felt the way you looked down at me
When I laid my head on your lap
Or the way you grabbed me showed
Me your perspective
Everything full of cinema
And traces of biting wit.

I let you go now
Though I didn't want to have to know
That you would watch me go
I didn't want to go have to go at all
But I don't see any other way.

You don't reply
And I don't need you to
I'm sure you mean to
Respect my time and space
I grew weary
Of reaching
With little to no return.

I'm not sure how you feel
Though I can certainly imagine
The little rip tides of defense
Self proclaimed justice
Shaming me for wanting too much
But deep within any of it
Within any of that
Is a whole car seat of pain.

I know your eyes
Big deep wells I bathed into
Even if just for a moment
All you had to do was tell me the truth.

I'll never forget
The way it has felt
To see you become like the rest.

I know you loved me Alex
I don't think I'll ever doubt that
But a hundred screaming silent empty mouthes
Mirrored in a pane of glass
Couldn't make me stay.