I wake up
Feeling dizzy
And unsure.
What did I do
Last night
When I saw you?

I remember music
Loud and raucous.
I saw you across the room
Dancing to the beat and tune.

I get out of bed
And notice a mark
That was left behind
By someone who was unkind.
Was it him that brought me
The tonic and gin?

I remember a moment,
Walking towards you,
Avoiding eye contact
And trying to get through.

I pour myself coffee,
And put on my glasses
So I can see.
A little sugar and milk maybe?
My mind is in a fog,
And life seems hazy.

I remember you
Meeting my gaze
And trying not to
Crack a smile.

I drink my cup,
Realizing what I drank
The night before.
It made me fall to the floor.
My head and heart were broken
When you walked to her door.

I remember when
You danced towards me,
Making the same face
You made at me when we met.

I brush my teeth,
As I try not to gag
At the thought of what
I might have done
Caught up in the fun
Made when the night was young.

I remember reaching
Out my hand to you.
You took it
Without hesitating.

I get dressed
And brush on
Lip liner and mascara,
Wondering what I will say
To the girl you left,
The date you parted from at the table.

I remember talking
To her earlier
In the afternoon,
Saying I will see her soon.

I look in the mirror
And notice a new bruise
On my neck.
It is one you made
When you knew
You had nothing to lose.

I remember promising
To myself on my drive
On the route to the party
That I wouldn’t slip...

And fall prey to your presence.

But the drink was so good.

And the music?

It made me sick.

I knew it was wrong,
But it felt so right.
All signs pointed to yes.
I let you in without a fight.
I lost myself,
As I lost my sense of sight.

What will I say
When I see you today?

Will it feel natural?
The dynamic, I mean.
Will you smile at me,
And not create a scene?

All I can do
Is blame myself
And my thoughtless actions.
It was the drink that did it,
And now nothing seems to fit.