a year as passed and i stopped taking stuff to numb myself as i wish to know the things which surrounds me for as sharp they are. i don't wander anymore into a delusional melatonin-induced fever, i could see every shard of glass as i lay my bare feet on the road i have never designed to myself. i lost and i keep losing, everything i have now is hazy and confused and never calls me by my name. you called and you called but i only hear you if you speak backwards.