I feel my heart pounding as im forced to hold in what i should release
I just wanna hide when i feel the tears behind my eyes
I cannot breathe when i hold back my fears
My heart opens & wants to spill it all out
But my mind works differently
Im hiding behind darkness and i can't show myself in the light
Each time i want to express,
Is when i wanna cry
I look in the mirror and notice a shine in my eyes
A shine that never left
A shine when i was supposed to cry
I hold back so much, when i should be able to speak
But my mind has my tongue in knots
My mind put a block to my speech
Everything is too late
I know because i tried
Trying to reveal the tension
Trying to change the lies
Everything is too late for me to hold back
The anxiety
The depression
The moods that cant make me relax
Out and about, yes im ok
I wanna cry so bad but i have the anxiety for people to judge
So when im behind a closed door
Im unable to see
Im unable to see because its blurry
Thats when im blind
And thats when i finally cry
Glossy and hidden;
These arent contact lenses..
Its a start
A start to a fear
And then a tear appears when im in front of my mirror
And then i finish drowning behind a door