I cannot breathe
I cannot move
And im frozen in shock
Im in shock from the pain
Theres a path i was forced to take
Now the path is broken but i still made the mistake
It broke when i started
Now im near the end
I cannot go back
I cannot start again
I always felt like giving up
I was always close
Close enough to scare people
The feeling of finally breathing;
But hyperventilated to the floor
When i was struck,
When i was down,
The tears drowned me as they burned my wounds
My opened wounds, i couldnt leave
I just kept them covered and thought this was so normal
I just shut everyone out
And the only person i was allowed to listen to was myself
Then it all became worse
I couldnt break free
I was trapped in my own head, into my own body
I finally got the hang of it;
Knowing who to listen to and knowing who to ignore
I forced to choose all the wrongs
When i was supposed to learn all the rights
I was my own bad influence
But i wanted this;
I needed this
I was so convinced that i was fine on my own
In the end i begged not to be alone with myself
Each night i cried
Each night i struggled
Each night i just couldnt sleep
I was my own nightmare that i wanted to wake up from
But it never stopped
I just wanted it to stop
Behind closed doors i wanted to scream
But when the door was open,
I would just be silenced
People questioned
People wondered
People were so concerned
And i just ran away from the advices that i ignored
I tried to listen but the i suddenly couldnt here
I went deaf;
It wanted me deaf
And then i was so lost
It was so hard
So hard to allow my voice to travel
And it was like i always wanted to get myself in trouble
As i stared into the mirror, i watched me with hate
I knew i had an enemy
I knew it would always stay
I watched myself cry
But i didnt feel the same
I watched myself fight
But i never won
I watched myself be alone
But i never wanted anyone
I watched myself turn
And i never went back
I watched myself break
And the pieces were never found