Im silenced from my mind
And im forced not to talk
I dont know what im thinking
I dont know what im supposed to do
My head is spinning so i fall
I fall and cant get up
Im so weak from being too strong
All my strength has disappeared
No more thoughts
No more voice
No more expressing how i really feel
I feel so trapped
When i try to think, my head starts to hurt
When i try to speak, my mouth becomes dry
When i try to see, my eyes get watery
When i try to listen, my ears start to ache
When i try to move, i become numb
I tried everything
I gained weakness when i lost all my strength
And when i try to exercise my mind, i hyperventilate and collapse
I have no more words because i wasted all my energy to show what i feel
My stories never got across
And when it did, i never cared to cure whats been hurting me
Unresponsive;
I force myself to be silent
If i talk, im screaming
If if i scream, im crying
If i cry, i hyperventilate
When i cant breathe, i just fall to the floor
I dont have the strength to pick myself back up
And when my legs are shaky, its so hard to walk the path i once got lost in
I have no more memory,
Of what i need to remember
And when i wanna forget,
It all comes shooting inside my head
I can never win
Because i always lose
It kills to learn how to think again
I wanna try to start over again
Im willing to try again
But i think that my mind wants it all to end
I try to wake up but dreams got lost
I try to forget but there is no block
I wanna remember but everything is on pause
I try to come back but my mind has no response