So tired of remembering
So tired of trying to think
So tired of knowing the truth
So tired of feeling sick
I can hardly speak,
If im mumbling
I can hardly breathe,
If im hyperventilating
I can hardly hear,
If there is static
I can hardly see,
If its blurry
I cant talk,
But i scream
I cant breathe,
But i get anxious
I cant hear,
But i hear the truth
I cant see,
But i see only myself
My moods
My fears
My actions
My words
My nightmares
My thoughts
My mind is never heard
Im violent
Im hurting
Im out of control
Im in danger
Im drowning
Im losing my soul
Noone liked me
My attitude ******
Noone understood me
My moods were ****** up
Everyone tried
I pushed them away
Everyone was scared
But they forced themselves to stay
I fought myself and i lost
I tried to swim in my tears and i drowned
I tried to put together my broken pieces but i lost them
I tried to be friends with myself and i gave up
I couldnt undo myself
I couldnt accept myself
I couldnt look at myself
I couldnt control myself
Until i injected myself
Until i repaired myself
Until i fixed myself
Until i finally helped myself
It helps to speak
It helps to breathe
It helps to hear
It helps to see
It helps to be calm
It helps to be alert
It helps to be clear
It helps to be understood
Im forced to be stable towards myself
Im medicated