Everything is sealed inside me.
Everything is trapped inside me.
My head is being played with;
& Im getting mentally exhausted.
Feeling claustrophobic;
& closed up inside.
All the positivity escapes through my mouth as I choke.
While the negativity is held back;
Locked inside my body.
My body temperature is rising;
& I feel like Im going to explode.
I drown myself when Im watered down;
As Im burning like a fire;
But either way Im still destroying myself.
And its like everywhere I turn,
Im completely trapped.
I just need an escape.
I just need to drop all the problems to the ground.
I just need to forget everything.
My head is pounding.
My heart is racing.
My tears are falling.
I cant control myself.
Im getting so frustrated inside.
Im getting so nervous inside.
I wanna just tear my heart outta my chest;
& smash it on the floor.
Because I know Im not strong;
So then it will break.
Just like I break myself.
So I need to undo everything;
I need to let everything free.
For the time being,
For the moment.
I cant help it;
Because I cant take it anymore.
I need to open myself,
& let everything out.
Everything being lodged inside me,
Is making it difficult for me to breathe.
I need air.
I need space.
I need to lose myself.
I need to allow my skin to hemorrhage.
I need to allow my blood to carry out everything out of my body.
I wanna be left dizzy.
I wanna be left unstable.
I wanna be left trying to fight the problems away.
So with a knife;
Leave me on my own.
Leave me weak without strength.
Theres no other way.