I may not be the person I used to be.
& to you I forced on anger & pushed you to your knees.
My world has been torn apart, yes, you are right,
I just see no right path, no healing, and no more time.
I wanted to control myself, and set myself free,
But the other side was watching me.
I just wanted to talk to you,
I just wanted to end it nicely,
But the rage,
The anger,
It was so repetitive & untrusting
Last year they have shown me what I wanted to see,
& now Im still in the same position as they all see me.
Im sorry I yelled,
Im sorry I cursed,
Im sorry I continued to ramble my words.
Hell wasnt the place for you.
Im glad I finally pulled you back through.
I saw your light that you tried to shine,
& now I realized that you were right.
The incisions I made, Im just confused,
I just dont want anything to worry you.
I knew you wanted me to understand,
I really wanted your helping hand.
To help me pull through,
And to pull you in,
I just didnt want any of this to begin.
Yes, you see my poetry is real,
It shows the way I am, and the way I feel.
Please know that I will come to you when I need your help,
Im sorry you felt the way you felt.
So I dont understand why they lied,
But I still continue to cry.
Please dont worry, I will be ok,
I will be normal again one day.
I love you as well with all my heart,
I wish I didnt start that fight that grew us apart.
But it was for a little while,
It didnt last,
Im glad we understood eachother after,
Im glad its in the past.
Again Im sorry for yelling at you.
Again Im sorry for cursing at you.
Again Im sorry for fighting with you.
Again Im sorry for not listening to you.
December of '89;
You insist I was a shining star;
You begged the Lord to not tell you I was gone,
& he listened to your words;
Because I never ended up going far.
Never would I go far away from you,
Because I love you;
I truly do.
Dont ever think a stupid fight will finally tear us apart,
Because without you pierces a hole in my heart.
I know it took me awhile to write this poem,
I was lost and confused,
Then I realized what you wrote.
Let us move on from our past;
Our fights that we had.
Let us be close,
Together again.
Your Niece.