Black roses fell down from the dying trees
The red ones lay down in her bed
White roses wait to free her
& blue roses has drowned everyone in their tears.
The happiness went quiet throughout the days of pain
& after I heard the news I was ready to run away.
Depression filled up everyone's soul;
Mine especially.
I still dont understand why he took you away.
As you grew weaker,
I grew weaker with you.
& when you left us;
I died with you.
Im just visible;
But Im buried inside my body.
Puddles of tears,
Shocks & fears.
Noone knew what to do
Noone knew where to go
Noone knew how to focus
Noone knew who to talk to
I didnt know how to cry anymore
My tears stayed within me;
While people force me to be strong.
Not for myself;
But for the people I truly love.
Because when I held your other two daughters close to me while you lay;
I was forced not to cry.
& It killed me afterwards.
Inside I was choking
Inside I wasnt breathing
Inside my heart was slowly shutting down trying to reach yours
Inside I wasnt thinking
Inside I was worried for them
Inside I was crying for them
Inside I was trying to breathe for them
Inside my heart tried to calm down for them
Inside I was living for them
& the last days we saw you;
I still never cried the way everyone was.
I was told to be strong for them;
But my strength has held everyone up;
While their weaknesses has brought me down.
I just felt I needed to give away my strength;
So they wouldnt fall like the way Im falling now.
Because the last night you were shown;
I just balled my eyes out.
Walking down the isle,
Just listening to the sad music.
Knowing that you wont be here anymore.
I just felt the tension everywhere.
But I kept everything inside.
I needed to concentrate on them;
To be so strong for them.
I knew I had the strength within me.
But in the end Im unable to fight away my weakness today.
All my strength kept everyone going.
All my strength kept everyone forgetting.
All my strength kept everyone laughing again.
All of my strength leaves me in tears.
The tears nobody saw,
The tears nobody expected,
The tears nobody would notice,
The tears that were forced onto me while I forced my strength onto everyone.
The tears I drown in everyday.