I have made so many mistakes
And now they cannot be fixed
I have walked down the wrong path
And now I will always be lost
I have lost strength
And now I am weak
I have disappointed
And now I cannot make happiness
I have pushed people away
And now I dont know who to go to
I have kept my mouth shut
And now everything is hard to get out
I walked away
And now I cant turn back
I used violence
And now I carry guilt
I have used my voice to yell at everyone
And now I feel bad
I have let down people who encouraged me
And now I feel useless
I have ignored people who tried to help me
And now I feel I cannot even help myself
I have rejected opportunities
And now there are no more chances
I have turned my back on family
And now they have gotten the messages
& my biggest mistake,
& my biggest regret,
The only person I had all these things shoot at you at once;
I have pushed you away
I yelled at you
I turned my back on you
I rejected you
I ignored you
I never showed you happiness
I slammed my door while you walked up the stairs
I walked away in the middle of your apologies
You watched me drown in my own tears
But I didnt let you pull me out
Because I never told you anything
I never released my problems to you
I feel as if you were deaf around me
Because I was scared to talk to you
I feel as if you were mute around me
Because you were scared to talk to me
I denied everything you brought to me
Because I acted like everything was fine
But I knew you werent stupid
I just was stubborn
I was scared what you might think
Because now you see all my problems
But you cannot give me help
Because I can only imagine what you would say to me,
& not what I can hear from you
Your only in my heart
And it kills me to know that your finding out everything that you could have helped me with
I didnt want you to worry
& now Im the one worried
Because Im scared Im gonna walk down a deeper, darker path
If I only listened to you
If I only listened to myself