My mind will never be focused,
As long as Im focused on something else.
I see nothing but things that arent important.
I have abandoned my problems,
Because they havent been fixed.
Because they are still there.
& I cannot fix them,
I only can pull myself away.
Away from everything,
Away from myself,
& away from the world.
As I stare in the mirror,
I notice all the problems.
Because my face has hopeless, written all over me.
& when I turn around,
The word useless is written all over my back, when Im pushed to the floor.
Im just a stupid girl for running
Im just a stupid girl for hiding
Im just a stupid girl for believing
Im just a stupid girl for not trying
My body is here,
But my mind is somewhere else.
Because when I try to focus,
I get nervous,
I get anxious,
& I hyperventilate.
& I never know what to do.
I dont know how to handle things,
When these things are kept built up inside me;
When I talk to noone but myself.
& myself has lead me down the wrong path;
& I cannot turn back.
& when these problems haunt me,
I leave my place,
& take my mind into a different world.
My wicked memories leave me,
Until I finish putting my mind at rest.
I cannot see,
Until I open my eyes.
I cannot speak,
Until I force my vocal cords to move.
I cannot hear,
Until I unplug my ears.
I cannot breathe,
Until I let all my air out.
Im angry,
So singing is involved,
Im stressed,
So *** is involved.
Im depressed,
So a knife is involved.
Im confused,
So alcohol is involved.
I ran away from myself
I hid from myself
I turned my back on myself
Ive been a danger to myself
Im distracting myself
Because Im running away from all my problems.
& I cannot solve them.