Struggling,
Trying to break loose.
Fighting,
I just want to **** you.
I can see you have a hold on me.
I can see you like to control me.
I can see you let me make mistakes.
You make me turn my back on everything.
& because I was connected,
You disconnected me.
You make me hide,
When Im supposed to be visible.
You make me scared,
When I want to be brave.
& when I hyperventilate,
Its because you force the anxiety towards me.
& when I cry,
Its because you keep the past a remembrance to me;
You keep me from getting through the present,
You make the future unknown.
You have me like a dog on a leash,
Unable to escape.
You have me like a prisoner,
Locked inside a box,
With no air to breathe,
& no light to see.
You have brought tension to my muscles.
You kicked out all the happiness that was around my body;
So you let in sadness & anger,
That fail to leave me.
& like a thousand cuts you made me open on my skin,
The abuse will never fade away.
I notice the hairs on my arms & legs;
That fall from my body,
So you have let in stress in my life.
You made me forget who I am;
& what its like to love myself.
With the red heart you turned black,
You turned me negative;
Made me see that theres no hope for anything,
& everything you make me do is wrong.
You let me make wrong decisions.
You allow me to fail;
Not only a failure to myself,
But a failure to family & friends.
I appear mentally weak,
Because you through away all the strength I had.
You make me see things others couldn't.
You make me think things that was beyond from what they really were.
You made everything fake,
So you can laugh at whats real.
You showed me that everything was bad,
So you can hide all the goodness.
You brainwashed me,
So you can hide all the truth.
You held me back,
When positivity was coming forward.
You made me see a stranger in the mirror.
A stranger that can never change.
Every step I try to put forward,
You take me ten steps back.
You throw nightmares at night;
When I want to daydream,
You make me fake a smile,
When I know Im supposed to frown.
When I try to think,
You block everything out.
When I try to listen,
You shut everything out.
When I try to speak,
You keep me mute.
When I try to breathe,
You make me suffocate.
Its hard to notice whats going on,
When you keep me in one spot.
Always at your attention,
You force me to obey you.
When I see the good,
You put bad in front of my eyes.
Im always wanting to explain the issue,
But you make me stutter.
You make me naïve,
So I fall in every trap you set.
You pressure me to think that my problems will never go away.
You made me blind,
When I could have seen.
Im facing the inside of my body,
Because you turned me inside out.
I keep myself cooped up inside,
Because you hold the door shut when I want to get out.
You force me to overreact without thinking.
Always yelling & screaming,
Because you force me to have great rage.
I just wonder why I can never ignore.
I just wonder why I always obey you.
You failed me.
You changed me.
Your the devil.
Your the dark side.
Your the voice thats in my head.
The voice that I know I can never escape from.
I am now a danger to myself.