I have not seen him in years
not in my dreams
not in my nightmares
or out in the open
I almost forgot what he looked like
How he made me feel
His words sickly sweet and sticky
His touch warm and then freezing cold
His smile,
A little crooked but it did things to me
Unexplainable, irrational things, which I had no excuses for
no remorse whatsoever
All it took was his quirky laugh
a pat on the arm or a kind word or two
I would loose myself in the madness all over again
Become part of a world where there were no pesky adults
nosey old ladies
annoying children
or yapping dogs
It was just the both of us, dressed in our finest
the rest did not matter
or maybe I was too blind to pay heed to it
We were almost never up to any good
tricks, mockery, manipulation, breaking hearts robbery and deception
we took part in all of that and so much more
I lived for the thrill
the rush that came with going out with a man that was off-limits
one that the world thought was not good enough for me
a danger to himself and bad to the bone
His kisses lit a fire from deep inside
His embrace was gentle and full of strength at the same time
His word was the law