My wife says I'll never be famous
'Cause Whiskurz is a stupid name
I said, "That's not what my parents called me"
She said, "Your real one is just as lame"

"You'll never be a William Shakespeare,
Longfellow, Frost or Poe"
"You won't even be a Dr. Seuss,
I hate to have to tell you so"

I said, "Whiskurz is easy to remember"
She said, "That's just a dumb excuse"
I said, "At least I don't just make names up,
What is a Dr. Seuss?"

She just shook her head and walked away
While I pondered what she had said
I yelled, "It doesn't really matter who they were,
'Cause like Elvis, they're all dead"

So I'll change my name to Elvis
But if I get sued, she's the blame
I still think Whiskurz is easy to remember
But I guess it won't bring me fame