spent an entire month in the hospital
and not once did i see a toothbrush
or my wounds anointed with a topical ointment
it was clear an infection was there
considering my leg turned an odd
shade of green, it was honestly a
grisly seen to see my flesh come off with ease
my doctor tried telling me i
was only seeing things, he said “what do
you mean? thats just the light. its not green.”
i said “hell no! i got perfect eye sight,
and that shit aint right!”
he blew it off with a soft “pfft”
and just continued on with his shift
when i first got there a nurse asked
what happened to me, and i told
her the story of my fall from mid-air
as i listed al of my injuries, she sees how
lucky i am, and said “could’ve been worse.
could’ve gotten diabetes.”
i couldn’t say a word, i was so confused
at what i’d just heard. all i thought
was are you kidding me? am i hearing
this right? these are the people taking care
of my life? i didn’t know what to say,
just laughed it off and said, “wow, hadn’t
thought of it that way.”
i remember feeling so disgusting, sitting in
my own filth, yet they only felt
like discussing each pill they gave me
feel like they barely even washed me, used
like two or three hand wipes. i was
feeling hella musty
it was so embarrassing. i was doing PT
and got a whiff of the air passing
around the room. i remember thinking
why does it smell like shit? i took
one look down, and saw it all
over my fucking gown. they gave me
new clothes, and put the others to be
disposed. i confronted the nurse, i
learned thats a tactic that never actually works,
she treid to prove me wrong, she
checked and said “you see, nothing there”
“well clearly it wiped off on the other
pair.” and i pointed to the clothes bin
i had forgotten some dude came
in and emptied it out, then she
just looked at me, full of doubt
they made me feel like i was stupid
like i didn’t know what i was
talking about. i’ve never delt with
such incompetence, had me feeling like
i didn’t even matter. no wonder
i lost my self confidence