I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY,
just want the light feeling to stay.
i don't want to feel this heavycrushinglonely,
don't want to be summer sad.
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY
IN THE WAY THAT THE ADDAMS FAMILY IS,
IN THE WAY THAT THE GRAND CANYON IS,
IN THE WAY THAT IT SEEMS LIKE
everyone else already is.
i just want to be happy.
i just wish that i knew how to feel light.
i wish that i wasn't heavycrushinglonely,
that i had adventures and memories and smiles.
i wish my friends wanted to do more than just
drink and play video games in their apartment
that is suffocating with the smell of chase's vape
and cold and too cozy. i wish my friends did more
of that "aimlessly driving with the windows down,
the music blaring," but more importantly, i wish
that in those instances i could just stay in time.
i spend too much time stuck in my own mind,
and i don't know how to get out anymore.
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY.
i just don't know how to make that choice,
how to stick with it.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE LONELY.
I JUST WANT--
i don't know. i don't really know
what answers i'm looking for.
i just know that i've been
heavycrushinglonely for too long now.
what's the alternative to that, if not happy?