Plusnet I hate you
You’re customer service is dire
You just tell me lies
I want to set you on fire

I’m no arsonist
But it’s been nearly a month
And still no flaming WiFi
Now I’ve really got the ****

And I know all about humps
As I was recently on a camel
And through that I’ve learned to hiss and spit
And p**s like these unruly mammals

I’ve conquered sand dunes
On the back of these beasts
And shall take you down too
If you persist giving me beef

Should’ve been last week
Now it’s going to be next
Stop moving the goal posts!
Can’t you see how I’m vexed?!

You say there’s a fault
On my line
That YOU disconnected
Then CHARGED me a fine!

You won’t refund me
Until it’s all been fixed
But fix it you can’t
You complete and utter *****!

I’ve spoken to OFFCOM
About my complaint
And drafted a letter
That clearly states

What berk’s you are
What incompetent buffoons!
To allow me to be slammed
Then rub salt into my wounds!

By making me pay
For the service I haven’t got
It’s laughable really
But I kid you not

So the saga continues:
I’m disconnected still
Hope you enjoyed the sequel
But to live I’m losing the will