True add verse situation,
     whereat me mission
     trans send dint state didst ache
after yours truly nearly
     did nearly break
chassis 'pon took drastic
     over corrective measure,
     not quite August,
     nor jejune piece of cake,
while rounding raised

      curbed contra corner
     suddenly felt wrath of wife quake,
viz passenger rear tire
     gone flat as a pancake
impresario found myself
     hearing Thus Spake,
Zarathustra, when in truth...
     twas ma constricted trach.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Some weeks back
     acting so cool and chic - bank
king all bravado, machismo
     self importance, and frank
lee babbling like a ******* creek
     off by a black key with Hank
Williams tune imagining
     myself swaggering like a lank

key trump petting Don
     (feigning faw being "Beefy") plank
walking lampoon able
     laughingstock Freaky, thank
less as a lapsed worn eraser head
     pencil necked Geek yank
key doodle dandy hood be
     forced to do penance as cap

     pit dull leotarded asinine
arthouse flop, where nary any words
     (worth their weight in gold)
     described my benign
behavior, NOT even
     smattering of unflattering deign
nig grating hammock colorful expletives,

     that would find an ensign
sailor to blush at my inept
     shameless travesty over the line
utter in apropos totally tubularly
     moronic juvenile mine
ness zero car raze zee antics,
     didst drive my doppelganger nine
tee bajillion miles away in search
     of another auto body – pine

ning for newer model
     then a 2009 Hyundai Sonata sign
ning off contract with this
     stunt driver wannabe
     unimpressively try'n
to act the blithe dare devil,
     while thee spouse didst wine
and scream more'n ****** Mary

     as the gunned axle nearly broke
trying my **** nest to
     "FAKE" dagger a type cloak
his husband resembled a fool,
     where angels fear to tread didst evoke
unsuccessful, unstinting, and unsparing

     unstrung epithets of colorful expletives
     unsuitable for poetic folk
boot urgent prayer went out
     to incredible Hulk
Hogan, and/or even the ghost
     of Andre The Giant, this haint no joke!