I remember you taking me out for a BBQ,
God, I hated the heat, the smoke.
I just wanted to stay home and watch toons and not suffer through the heat.
But you were so proud, ever so proud,
Your amazing baby boy you said.

You went away working for me,
In search of that better life for me,
Then I grew up a little bit and started wondering. Was it my fault you weren’t
home so often? Did you miss me at all?

I didn’t understand your sacrifices,
How could I? You were my dad,
and you weren’t there when I wanted you
to be, that’s all that mattered at the time.
I didn’t see the larger picture, didn’t
know that you missed me because you
never showed me. I was too young.

Then you came back in my life, I was
angry, bitter that you missed the important
moments of my life. How could you be
my father if you weren’t there?
All I saw was mum hurting and lonely.

But a son wants a father, and boy did I
fall into the ****** cliché. A textbook
troubled, confused boy with daddy issues.
You came back and I loved you again.

You gave me the best holiday of my life,
The perfect dad, you were back.
You were home and I was at my happiest.
The perfect family.

Then you died and my heart bled,
All of our hearts did, you left me again,
You left us confused and broken.
Now I’m trying to please you and live up to your expectations,all the while not knowing what your expectations of me are.

I buried you and whatched as they lowered your body into the ground,
Red roses on your grave as the tears fell
On my face.

I love you till I die but I truly wish I’m
never like you, you shone brightly in my
life then you bowed out and left me to
deal with the massive void you left in my life, so I don’t want to be like you.