Yesterday everything was fine
But it wasn't,
it just that you forget how you felt yesterday
because it was fine
and today the pain is back
and you don't remember if it is better or worse
because you started to get numb
and it helped you forget
the pain from yesterday

and sometimes you remember the pain from yesterday
and sometimes it isn't as bad
and sometimes it's worse

and I just need to escape
I need to leave
and stop and breathe
and stop shaking
and why can't I stop
why can't I breathe
why can I never breathe
why is my heart jumping in my chest
why
why
why
NO

my therapist always tells me that when I'm panicking
its because I'm worried about something and I just don't know what
but what if I think and think about what I'm worried about and there's just nothing there
I just can't stop panicking