"I did, and it broke my heart- into a billion pieces but I had to. I had to." "He held up his head with his hand, steadily observing her. He turned to his side fully. She could no longer see his face. 'you don't understand,' he said finally 'i've always been afraid of being an egoist'" "'I've a couple idee fixes' 'not any i need to know'" "i'm sick with the idea... sick with it.*"