I’ve got this massive ego
I need to deflate
Or else the only
time I’ll finish is when I masturbate
There’s apologies I have to make
But should they be heard
Should I write him or
send a bird
I might explode if I go unheard
But I should probably mind my business
So his baby mama won’t witness
The weakness we might share
What if the spark is still there
I’m not prepared, in fact I’m scared
His two beautiful daughters
don’t need to see that daddy still cares
Not just for their mama
But for someone whose not there
As far as I know
He’s unaware of how much I care
How sorry I’ve become
Don’t see myself being welcomed
Into his arms, into his home
Fucked up my chance
Now I wake up and feel alone
I want to atone
I pray she brings you misery
And you tire of her company
Like this fool broke his promise
Of matrimony..
I’m tired of being lonely
I’m tired of being late
So I lay awake
After I masturbate
I ask myself
Why did I wait?
Maybe I wasn’t ready
I think of him now
And I can’t keep my hand steady
Stare at the ceiling till my eyes grow heavy
The wettest of dreams
when I wake it isn’t as real as it seems
My heart sinks
It’s been so long.
Maybe it needed to go wrong
So I could write this sad song
Maybe I needed to get hurt
So I could see how much I treated you like dirt..